Say Goodbye to Mr Wrong – Five Indicators of Whether a Man is Happily Ever After Marriage Material

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If you’re like many single women, you keep dating and falling in love with the wrong guy. You know the type– men who haven’t got their act together, are undependable, emotionally unavailable, never fall back in love with you, or are chronically under or unemployed… If marriage to a great man is your goal, but you find yourself dating the type of man described above, your first step to finding Mr. Truly Wonderful is to recognize your negative dating patterns. While the men you date may have different names, faces and occupations, look closely and you’ll discover you’re dating the same guy over and over again. Until you recognize him and make a decision to avoid him, you’re destined to waste your time on another “unmarriable” man.Unfortunately, most women have a romanticized view of love, which isn’t surprising given the movies, TV, music and fairytales that tell us we’ll live happily ever after, that all we need is love and that love conquers all. I’m all for love and I firmly believe happily ever after is attainable, but if you want it, you’ve got to be careful about who you date and allow yourself to fall in love with. Otherwise all you do is set yourself up for more heartache. Haven’t you had enough?How to identify a man with happily ever after marriage potential:1). He’s dependable. He does what he says he will do, end of story. Now I know everyone messes up, but what we’re talking about are patterns. Let me tell you about a man I met. He set up a time to call, but didn’t. When he call several days later he apologized, offered a plausible excuse and asked for second chance to which I agreed. Shock of the century, but he failed to call again. When he left another good excuse on my voicemail, I called him back and said, “While I appreciate the interest, I looking for someone who’s dependable.” Didn’t hear from him for awhile, then out of the blue… “I’ve been sober 2 weeks and I really want to take you out.” Needless to say, I didn’t call back. While I had no way of knowing he had a drinking problem, he’d shown me early on he wasn’t reliable. Bottom line, when behaviors and words don’t match, always listen to the behavior!2). He’s kind. Pay attention to how he treats everyone. Someone who is nice to you, but yells at others, will one day yell at you. It’s just a matter of time. Same with someone who’s critical of others. Make no mistake, one day he will turn it on you. Someone who loses his temper, yells and takes pot shots is not happily ever after marriage material. Verbal abuse doesn’t get better over time and left unchecked, it escalates into physical and emotional abuse. See how he treats his family, service providers, friends, co-workers and children if he has them… If he complains about them or treats them poorly, eventually he’ll do the same to you. Refuse to date anyone who isn’t kind to others, you deserve a man who treats you well.3). He’s generous. With his time, emotions, talents and resources. If you need help, he’s there. If you’ve had a bad day and need to talk about it, he makes time for you. Just make sure you don’t take advantage of this! If you complain often or are regularly in crisis but nothing shifts, he’s probably not going to deem you marriage material! A good man with marriage potential takes you places, pays for dates and doesn’t expect sex in return for a meal or the movies. On a side note, if you feel obligated for sex after someone pays for a date, recognize the exchange for what you’ve made it, a horribly cheap form of prostitution. If you want to land a great guy, you’ve got to value yourself far too highly to engage in such demeaning behavior! You are worth being valued highly and treated well. Don’t expect or accept less, ever.4). His financial house is in order. One of men’s developmental challenges is to earn enough money to take care of himself and, if he chooses to marry, his family. The vast majority of the women I meet are bright, have jobs and are more than capable of providing for themselves financially. I’m not advocating that they need to be taken care of; what’s important to know is that men who are happily ever after marriage material are able and willing to provide. Two major killers of love include a) women financially taking care of men who are physically and mentally able to take care of themselves, and b) divided finances. I’ve yet to see a couple who “split” the bills stay in love. Trust me, someone always ends up with less, feels taken advantage of and resentment begins to build. Love, in turn, slowly beings to die. If you want a roommate, get a roommate. If you want lasting love, look for a man who’s financial house is in order and who is willing and able to provide.5). He pursues you. Sounds old fashioned, but it doesn’t change the truth. The only way you’ll ever truly know if a man is interested in you is if he pursues you. Otherwise, if he’s like most men, he’ll be flattered by your attention, date you, sleep with you if you’ll let him, and when the right woman comes along, he’ll dump you and begin to pursue her. Men aren’t inherently evil, they are simply wired to conserve their resources and if a woman’s going to do the work, they are generally happy to let her. Pity the poor woman who pays for all the dates or regularly has him over for movies and sex and thinks she’s in a relationship that’s moving toward something better. A heartbreak is on the way, and if, by some chance he passively marries you, he’ll never be the type of husband you want or deserve. The kicker of it all is that you helped condition him to be lazy.If you want to be happily married, guard your heart and make sure the object of your affection is worthy of it! Get to really know him, introduce him early on to your family and friends. Run in the other direction if he’s unwilling to meet them. If your family and friends don’t like him, there’s probably a good reason that you’re unable or unwilling to see. Their judgment isn’t clouded by romance. You’ve heard the old phrase, “love is blind”. It’s true, right up until the romantic phase of love dies. That’s the phase that glues two hearts together, is so wonderfully exciting and propels couples to marry. But once it dies, and it must if you want lasting love, you’re left with a real person. Guard your heart, check him out thoroughly before you allow yourself to fall in love, and look for the marks of a good, marriable man. You’re worth a man who’s dependable, kind, generous, has his financial house in order and who pursues you!

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